Friday, February 24, 2012


A guy in Quebec has just been convicted of his 24th drinking and driving offense.  A Canadian record.

He received a 6-year sentence.  I'm betting if he's still upright, he'll be back on the highway in 2018.  Of course, maybe sooner than that if he gets let out of jail early.

A GOOD LAUGH TODAY (submitted by frequent reader)

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,

I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR

I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . . ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,'  Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room

when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that

the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely
disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo
that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. ' 

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '

Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.

I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said. . .I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
'I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'

Dr. wouldn't submit his name...


Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting
for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being
a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts
for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,

But I'm glad I came.'

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Mike McIntyre, of the Winnipeg Free Press, is a really good justice reporter and I thought he did an excellent job today keeping everyone up to date as to what was happening in court with regards to the Graham James sentencing hearing.

Make no mistake about it.  James should rot in hell forever.  However, there appears to be holes in our justice system (surprise, surprise) that could allow him to get off with a conditional sentence.  Here are some of McIntyre's tweets from today and my thoughts underneath in brackets.

I don't usually censor comments.  You can call me names all you like; but if you are going to side with James at all in this...please don't comment.  I'll likely delete it.  He has no defense.

Crown: Fleury didn't have happy home life, James knew it. Dad alcoholic at time, Mom battling mental health issues. 
(This shows pre-meditation, in my opinion.  Predators love to prey on the weak and vulnerable)

Crown: James had Fleury come to his apartment 2x per week under guise of "tutouring him." Would have him sleep over. 

Crown: "Upon attendance...there was never any actual tutouring that took place."